


Just Tell Me

by what_a_gust



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-12
Updated: 2018-10-12
Packaged: 2019-07-29 18:12:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16269647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/what_a_gust/pseuds/what_a_gust
Summary: Four times that Christen held her tongue and the one time she didn’t.





	Just Tell Me

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry I haven't updated Building Bridges in a month, school was super overwhelming but I had a chill day today so I managed to write this. I hope you like it.

\--one--

The first time, Christen doesn’t say anything because it’s still so new and she doesn’t want to scare Tobin. 

Tobin had been particularly touchy on their walk back to the hotel from Bourbon Street and Christen was doing her best to enjoy it and stay in the moment. She didn’t want to rush anything, knowing that she had been pining after Tobin for months and Tobin had just come to realize the feelings were mutual.

As they enter Tobin’s room, everything is gentle. Christen reminds herself again and again to relax and calm her breathing. Tobin gently peels the leather jacket from her shoulders and places it over the back of the chair. 

Christen takes a step toward Tobin hoping to initiate something more but Tobin holds her hands out to put them on Christen’s hips, leaving several inches of space between them. Christen lets the worry get the best of her and she bites her bottom lip, unable to convince herself that Tobin really wants her if she’s taking things this slow. But then, she looks up into her eyes and sees desire in them as Tobin bites her lip in return. 

Tilting Christen’s head up with a finger under her chin, Tobin leans in and places a soft kiss against Christen’s lips. 

“You look so beautiful tonight,” Tobin murmurs against her lips, their foreheads resting against each other. 

Christen’s face stretches into a huge grin and she leans back in to kiss Tobin again, hoping to convey her passion without adding too much pressure. 

Tobin walks them slowly to the bed as her hands reach down to pull Christen’s dress up over her hips. When the back of Christen’s legs bump against the mattress, Tobin slides her hands up to Christen’s waist, waiting until Christen raises her arms so that she can pull the dress off over her head. 

Christen slides back on the bed as Tobin peels off her own shirt before crawling over Christen. They kiss for a long while, legs slotted together with Christen’s hands braced on Tobin’s back and Tobin’s hands framing Christen’s waist on the bed beneath them. 

Christen can’t tell how long it’s been but she’s starting to get antsy, grinding her hips up every once in a while in the hopes that Tobin will get the message.

It takes longer than Christen would like and she moves her hands from Tobin’s back down onto the sheets so that she can grab onto them and channel some of her energy. It’s only then that Tobin starts to kiss her way down Christen’s neck and across her chest. 

As Tobin makes her way down Christen’s body, the kisses are gentle and Christen is doing everything in her power not to rush Tobin. Tobin’s lips flutter against the band of her underwear and she releases a strangled groan, no longer able to contain it. Tobin looks up at her and says softly, “Be patient, I promise it’ll be worth it.”

Christen repeats this to herself over and over again. _It’ll be worth it. It’ll be worth it._

Tobin’s mouth closes over the seam and Christen’s thighs tense with the immense effort of keeping her hips from bucking up. She forces herself to take a deep breath and lets go of the sheets, moving her hands to weave her fingers through Tobin’s hair. 

Not until Christen’s underwear are so damp that she’ll probably have to throw them away, does Tobin finally peel them off, tapping Christen’s hip with her other hand, encouraging her to lift up so that Tobin can slide them down her thighs.

When Tobin does finally give Christen what she’s been waiting for, the relief is certainly worth it. Christen tries to repay Tobin just as gently, keeping her touches light and her kisses soft. Tobin hums in approval and Christen’s cheeks blush with the knowledge that she is the one making Tobin feel so good.

When they fall asleep that night, limbs tangled together and Tobin stroking her fingers through Christen’s hair, Christen tries to convince herself that maybe she can adjust. And if it’ll get Tobin to stay, it’ll be worth it.

\--two--

The next time, they’re at Christen’s parents house for the new year and it’s a little bit easier because she knows they need to be quiet. Part of her can’t believe that she has Tobin Heath tangled in her sheets in her childhood bedroom and wants the whole world to know. But the rational part of her knows that she would never be able to look her parents in the eye again if she knew they knew she was having sex.

They make more eye contact than usual that night. Silently reminding each other to be quiet. Christen tries to convey how much she needs it; how glad she is that they’re entering the new year together.

When Tobin finally pushes her fingers in, Christen stuffs her fist in her mouth and bites down to prevent herself from crying out. Tobin looks up with fire in her eyes and stills her hand, waiting for Christen to relax. 

“Please, Tobin, seriously. I’ll be quiet just don’t stop,” Christen begs through a strained whisper. 

Tobin relents and moves her fingers again, sliding them in and out at a metered pace until she feels Christen tense around them as her hips push up and her head tilts back into the pillows, eyes screwed shut.

She waits for a few moments before sliding her fingers out and brings them up to her mouth to clean them off.

When Christen opens her eyes to that sight, she tugs on Tobin’s arm and takes them for herself. Tobin releases a strangled groan which Christen finds almost as satisfying as her orgasm and can’t help but to laugh under her breath.

“It’s not funny, Chris. You’re so hot,” Tobin mumbles back.

“It’s okay baby, I’ll take care of you.” She pulls Tobin up settles her hands on her hips as Tobin braces her hands against the wall. Though it’s tempting to tease, Christen figures preserving Tobin’s sanity is probably more important than drawing out their evening and she gets to work, running her tongue up and down efficiently. 

Tobin comes down a few minutes later and slumps against Christen’s chest. “That was so good, babe,” she mumbles as slides off onto the mattress. 

Christen presses a gentle kiss to Tobin’s lips and whispers back, “Yeah it was, maybe we’ll have to stay here more often.”

“You’re just saying that so you can be with the dogs.”

“Maybe,” she shrugs in response as their breathing evens out and they drift off to sleep.

\--three--

The third time, Christen is trying really hard not to be angry. They’ve just gotten home from the Olympics and she’s exhausted from trying to hold it together. Tobin is being so gentle and kind and Christen worries that if she shows Tobin what’s happening inside her heart and her head, that she’ll think less of her. 

So, during the day, she lets Tobin distract her with hiking and kite-flying and other adventures; and at night, when they get back to their apartment, she lets Tobin make easy, un-hurried love to her, knowing that it’s Tobin’s way of trying to piece her back together and reassure her that it’s all going to be okay. 

One night, about two weeks into their stay with the resuming NWSL season on the horizon, Christen is starting to feel restless. She feels ready for Tobin to stop walking on egg shells but thinks if she tries to express her thoughts she will come across as bitter and Tobin won’t believe her. 

They’re sitting in bed reading when Tobin leans over to press a kiss to Christen’s temple. Christen turns and presses a kiss to Tobin’s cheek, and then her mouth, and then sets her book down and climbs over to straddle Tobin. 

Hungry for more, Christen wraps her arms around Tobin’s neck and starts kissing along her jaw until she’s nibbling on Tobin’s ear. 

“Slow down, babe. We have all night.”

So she does. Even though she _really_ doesn’t want to.

And she lets Tobin take control, lifting Christen from her lap and laying her down on the bed. Christen knots her hands in the blankets beneath her and wills herself to let her mind go blank. She focuses on Tobin’s steady breathing and does her best to match. Tobin winds her up slowly, one step at a time, moving strategically from her lips to her neck and down between her breasts until Christen really can’t think and her chest is heaving. 

When they’re done, though they took their time, it’s still early. As usual, Tobin drifts right off to sleep and Christen lays awake, chastising herself for not appreciating it as much as she should. She knows it makes Tobin feel good to take care of her, and she loves her for it, but she wishes that there was a right time for her to bring up what she’s looking for.

It’s not that the sex is ever bad, or even unsatisfying, which makes her feel even more guilty as she tosses and turns. Usually, she’s totally content with their give-and-take. It’s more that she feels so pent up in a way that she can’t express through anything else and she wishes that Tobin could just read her mind and know, the way it feels in so much of the rest of the life they’ve built together. But they’re on the brink of needing to spend weeks apart and she doesn’t want to rock the boat. She swallows her frustration once again and forces herself to fall asleep, knowing she’ll regret it if she’s grumpy in the morning.

\--four--

The next time these feelings bubble up in Christen, they’re at their hotel in London for the Grassroots gala and she’s reminded of 2012. She can hardly believe that it’s been four years but she’s beyond grateful that she’s moved from pining and being confused to being in a stable and loving relationship. 

They’re getting dressed and Tobin is doing her hair and putting on makeup and she looks so cute and fuckable that Christen wants to grab her by the arm and pin her to the wall. But even more, she wants Tobin to do that to her. She rolls her eyes at herself, knowing it probably isn’t going to happen so she slips on her heels and sits gingerly on the edge of the bed until Tobin is ready to head down to the limo.

All night, she does her best to flaunt her looks to Tobin, to make her want it. But instead of looking at her with hunger in her eyes, all Christen can find is love. Just as she is building up the courage to whisper in Tobin’s ear Do you think I’m sexy? Tobin wraps her arm around her waist and says, “You look so beautiful, babe. I’m so lucky.” And Christen doesn’t have a choice but to swoon.

As the event winds down, Christen prepares herself. She knows that when they get back to their room Tobin is going to want to take her time. She goes up to the bar and gets one last drink, swallowing it down quickly, hoping that it will dull her senses enough to make her forget about restlessness.

An hour and a half later, she’s really glad she did. Tobin is going almost painfully slowly, whispering how proud she is of Christen as she kisses every inch of skin revealed by the dress sliding off her shoulders. Christen does her best to get lost in the feeling of Tobin’s mouth against her skin and let the words fill her heart in the way that Tobin intends. 

Though they usually go straight to sleep, Christen uses the excess of product in her hair as an excuse to take a shower and Tobin, too tired to really protest, just pouts and whines about wanting to cuddle.

“I won’t take long, Tobs, I promise, I just know I’ll regret it if I don’t wash my hair tonight. You’ll be asleep by the time I get to the bathroom and I’ll be back in bed before you know it.”

“Fine,” Tobin relents and Christen slips out of bed and into the bathroom.

She only turns on one of the lights and turns the shower all the way up until the room is filled with steam. She steps under the water and lets it pound down on her head and shoulders, forcing her to let go of the tension she was holding there. 

Before she gives herself a chance to think about it, she slips a hand between her legs and the other pulls hard at her nipple. She bites down hard on her lip and fucks herself against the shower wall, imaging that Tobin is there behind her, rather than sleeping in their bed. As she comes down from her orgasm, she tells herself that the next time she feels this way, she’ll say something.

Christen towels off and combs her hair before pulling a t-shirt over her head and climbing into Tobin’s arms just as she promised she would. And when she roles over, she sees a smile spread across Tobin’s face and feels lucky to be in love with someone who loves her with so much kindness. 

\--one--

Christen has finally had enough. Between Tobin’s ankle and their various NWSL and USWNT obligations, they’ve spent more time apart in the past year than they’re used to. But now, they’re on their winter break together and when they get back, Tobin is going into surgery so Christen knows that if she doesn’t say anything now, it will be months, at the least, until she’ll have the opportunity again. 

Slow and lazy sex had been fine for most of the break, seeing as they were both exhausted from snowboarding and skiing all day. But it’s her birthday. They’ve spent the day reading and cooking and are going out for dinner and Christen decides she’s earned getting fucked.

The restaurant they’re at is small, but quaint and their food was really good. As they’re waiting for dessert, Christen takes a long sip of her coffee and then clears her throat. “I’ve been meaning to tell you something for a while now.”

“Is everything okay?” Tobin asks, worriedly.

“Everything is fine. Just, there’s something I want to try tonight.”

A smirk spreads across Tobin’s face, “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah,” Christen looks at Tobin in the eye and steels herself. “I’m going to tell you exactly what I want. And I want you to give it to me. Is that okay?”

“Of course, why wouldn’t it be?”

“Because what I want tonight is a little bit different from what we usually do.”

Tobin looks at Christen with concern, “Do you know like what we usually do?”

“Of course I do, babe. I love you. And you love me. And you always make me feel good. I just want to try something. Okay? And if it’s weird or you don’t like it we never have to do it again. Can you just promise me that you’ll try?”

“I think I can handle that. I love you too.” Tobin places her hand over Christen’s on the table and brushes her thumb along her wrist. 

Luckily for Christen, the waiter arrives with her dessert, candle and all, and Tobin starts to sing. Then she insists on taking pictures for Christen’s mom before she blows out the candle. By the time they get to eating, Christen is satisfied with how the conversation went and is able to enjoy the moment.

They make it back to the condo they’re renting and hang up their coats and scarves and lay their gloves and hats out on the radiator so that they’ll be warm when it’s time to get bundled up in the morning. 

When everything is in it’s place and there is no clutter left for Christen to fidget with, she takes a deep breath, holding a mug of tea leaning against the kitchen counter and asks, “Are you ready?”

Tobin looks at her, a little confused but willing, “Sure, anything for you my love.”

“I want you to fuck me. And be rough about it. I love how gentle you are, and how you always make sure I know you care. But not tonight. Okay?” she asks, forcing herself to maintain eye contact so that Tobin knows she’s serious.

“Okay…right now?”

“Yes, Tobin. Right now.”

So Tobin steps forward into Christen and pins her against the counter, biting her neck with a force that Christen has only dreamed of. She can’t help herself but to let out a resounding moan as Tobin pushes her thigh up between Christen’s legs. 

“You like that?” Tobin teases as she continues to suck on Christen’s neck just below her jaw.

“God, yes,” Christen moans, shifting her hips against Tobin’s thigh trying to generate friction. 

Tobin lifts Christen onto the counter and bites across her neck and licks down into the hollow just above her chest with her hands planted on either side of Christen’s thighs. 

“Tobin,” Christen gasps, trying to catch her breath, “Tobin, take my fucking shirt off.”

And Tobin does, and quickly palms at her breasts through the lacy bra that Christen had put on with this moment in mind.

“I want you to bite them,” Christen says as sternly as she can.

“What?” Tobin asks, a little more surprised than Christen was hoping.

“I want you to bite my nipples through my bra. Can you do that?”

Tobin nods her head and bends down. As her teeth clamp down, Christen throws her head back and brings one hand up to hold Tobin’s head in place, using the other to hold her up, letting out a groan of pleasure. Tobin bites down again and Christen is so grateful, she can feel the warm wetness pooling between her legs against the cool granite countertop. 

“The other one now,” she guides Tobin’s head over and bucks her hips involuntarily at the sensation. 

The bra is wet and scrapes uncomfortably against her hardened nipples and Christen feels so good she thinks she might cum just from that. But she is in control and wants to take full advantage of it so she grabs Tobin’s hand and slides it in between them to the button of her pants. 

“Fuck me, hard, but don’t you dare stop biting,” she manages to gasp out as Tobin’s tongue sweeps across her chest.

“Up,” Tobin commands, challenging Christen to lift her hips so that she has room to slip the pants down around her knees. 

Christen does as she’s told and is rewarded tenfold. Tobin ducks her head back down and just as her mouth closes over a nipple she slips two fingers into Christen forcefully, using her hips for leverage. 

“Don’t stop, don’t stop,” Christen repeats over and over again.

Tobin doesn’t relent until Christen tightens around her fingers, her whole body stiffening. And then she draws her fingers out slowly as Christen’s body relaxes and slumps forward.

“Tobs,” Christen breathes out, “that was so good. Thank you.”

“Of course, babe. Happy birthday. Can I ask you something?”

Christen nobs slowly, still coming down from her high. 

“How long have you been wanting that?”

“Do you really want to know?” Tobin nods expectantly. “Since Bourbon Street.”

Tobin laughs, “for real? You should have told me!”

“It’s okay, it was the perfect birthday present. And now, it’ll be easy to ask for it again.”

“I love you, Chris.”

“I love you too, Tobs. But sometimes, I just want to know that you want me.”

“I always want you. I’m glad we talked about this.”

“Me too.”

“Want to go again?”

A smile spreads across Christen’s face and Tobin sweeps Christen off the counter, carrying her to the bedroom to end her birthday right.


End file.
